One-person-a-day project is over. Mainly because I don't enjoy it as much as I did. Other than that, I started taking too much risk for it. Really. Too much.
I'll think of something else to do each day. Something more recordable, useful, and less dangerous.
let me give you the one-a-day's of the past few days without going into the usual diary-details:
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17 September 2008: Small talk with my newspaper provider. He noticed that I've been coming home recently despite my usual habits, so he welcomed me very warmly. I sure like this neighborhood.
17 September 2008: Small talk with my newspaper provider. He noticed that I've been coming home recently despite my usual habits, so he welcomed me very warmly. I sure like this neighborhood.
18 September 2008: I dropped my money in the tube and a guy picked it up for me. Then there was a problem with me loading my akbil (oyster card) and he helped me out again. The machine didn't work and he helped others too. In the end, we came to laugh out loud with this savior stranger, and shared a bright morning.
19 September 2008: Today I met a cousin of one of my colleagues. He has just come from Barcelona. We had dinner at Bebek, and enjoyed a fine and a bit chilly evening.
20 September 2008: I made contact with my neighbors who live on the same floor, second time since we moved in a year ago. They made me feel secure, and they made me feel awkward at not coming home often. They are people I can get along with, and I felt bad at not going out of my box often to get to know more people whom I can get along with.
21 September 2008: Today I met a husband and a wife, spent a few hours with them. Both have respectable careers, amiable natures and bright minds. Their life and the advices I got from the most reliable person I know have caused a paradigm shift in me. Now, I am headed for a different way.
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some insights I want to talk about the people I meet:
1. no matter what your occupation is, life is perceived as complicated. a housewife's troubles are as big as a prime minister's. 24 hours is just not enough. if you think cooking for the family yet another day is not a life worth living, think again, some people make an art of it. Before underestimating, think again.
2. it's so easy to bring the bad out of people. well, my aim wasn't exactly that but it was to eliminate the masks and hopefully reach the real part inside. I know it can be pretty ugly in there, but these revelations are so impulsive at times... Still, it needs to be done if you are looking for something deeper than shallow relationships & fake id's.
- The main point is giving the other party some kind of power (the non-permanant type is certainly recommended) and see if they can handle it without abusing the offer and going corrupt,
- eliminating short-term sanctions of not obeying invisible norms & rules & ethics,
- not acting like a pure angel so the other party doesn't feel as if s/he is in a church/mosque/synagogue,
- behaving differently when in a group and when alone with him/her which will quicken the revelations.
You may think that acting to counter-acts is arrogant. I agree, but if the other party is not abused/misdirected/tricked in any way and only ill-intentions are exposed, no harm done.
3. people are welcoming strangers in this country more than they welcome their kins. if they are alone when approached, they do show their plain enthusiasm and sincerity. if they are in a group, they tend to act as if they are superior, showing off their mesmerizing illumination (!) simply because they are approached by a stranger who has a one-a-day project to accomplish for the day.
4. newspaper & cigarettes unify people.
5. movies that are not among the best tend to be misleading about humans. the usual disadvantages of the magnifier effect... books are closer to reality. take the time.
6. rich are more comfortable with exposing their body. I don't want to deep dive into the details.
7. in the business environment, intimacy exists despite common knowledge and it matters.
8. "sophisticated" ladies and gentlemen who are educated in the best schools and who are at top positions can be shallow and insensible beyond expectations. the tip of the iceberg may be all that there is. likewise, ordinary people who don't hold breath-taking positions in life can be very deep and understanding.
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30 August 2008: It's been 10 days since my last entry. I haven't recorded the last 10 days and the 10 people in them because this blog has come to resemble a shallow diary now and I don't want to have a flat daily record of my life, focusing on only people I get to know. Yet I will write, from time to time. Shame, if this decision will keep me from making a success story in time, as if I was interested in making one.
Now, is time for an evaluation.
I have reached the inertia that I aimed to reach, in 20 days:
Broke a few self-chains.
Had a glimpse of strangers' lives, and looked closer at not-so-strangers' I had met before.
Took risks. Believe me, approaching strangers in this part of the world is a high risk for my gender. I don't know how long I can keep this going without mastering martial arts or carrying something lethal.
Created a few bonds. Well, some were redundant, they didn't make me realize anything new. Yet some colored my day, making me feel a lot warmer inside. I have nominated them as prospective good-friends of mine and booked them airseats on my future far from the exit doors.
The best part was the second option: calling up/IM'ing people I lost contact with. I am a person who burns the bridges too easily so I had a lot of people to call. I still do.
The worst part was the third option. I know everything about my close friends so it's no use trying to learn secrets. I already know them all.
That's it for now. I'll see you soon. Promise.
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30 August 2008: It's been 10 days since my last entry. I haven't recorded the last 10 days and the 10 people in them because this blog has come to resemble a shallow diary now and I don't want to have a flat daily record of my life, focusing on only people I get to know. Yet I will write, from time to time. Shame, if this decision will keep me from making a success story in time, as if I was interested in making one.
Now, is time for an evaluation.
I have reached the inertia that I aimed to reach, in 20 days:
Broke a few self-chains.
Had a glimpse of strangers' lives, and looked closer at not-so-strangers' I had met before.
Took risks. Believe me, approaching strangers in this part of the world is a high risk for my gender. I don't know how long I can keep this going without mastering martial arts or carrying something lethal.
Created a few bonds. Well, some were redundant, they didn't make me realize anything new. Yet some colored my day, making me feel a lot warmer inside. I have nominated them as prospective good-friends of mine and booked them airseats on my future far from the exit doors.
The best part was the second option: calling up/IM'ing people I lost contact with. I am a person who burns the bridges too easily so I had a lot of people to call. I still do.
The worst part was the third option. I know everything about my close friends so it's no use trying to learn secrets. I already know them all.
That's it for now. I'll see you soon. Promise.
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20 August 2008: Today is my first working year anniversary. This is my one-a-day for today. First time in my life I have worked for a whole year. Hard to grasp. I was expecting a monotonous life after university and look what I have instead! Most of my days were worth a year, I travelled abroad 10 times for a week or two, met & worked with & befriended smart people, mastered multi-tasking, started doing sports (parallel to the needs of a business life) and liked this far beyond any expectations, and I took risks, high risks...
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21 August 2008: I talked to B.G., whom I had met at a music festival and hadn't seen for around a year. Topic was life & Dubai. Actually I was expecting to pursue my project at an album premiere on SuAdasi but I was too tired and too focused on the person beside me while we were at the premiere party...
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20 August 2008: Today is my first working year anniversary. This is my one-a-day for today. First time in my life I have worked for a whole year. Hard to grasp. I was expecting a monotonous life after university and look what I have instead! Most of my days were worth a year, I travelled abroad 10 times for a week or two, met & worked with & befriended smart people, mastered multi-tasking, started doing sports (parallel to the needs of a business life) and liked this far beyond any expectations, and I took risks, high risks...
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21 August 2008: I talked to B.G., whom I had met at a music festival and hadn't seen for around a year. Topic was life & Dubai. Actually I was expecting to pursue my project at an album premiere on SuAdasi but I was too tired and too focused on the person beside me while we were at the premiere party...
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14 August 2008: One of my best friends tried hard to find a secret that she hadn't told me yet, to be able to contribute to my project. C.K. tells me everything so it was a big challenge for her, but she succeeded nevertheless by telling me a pretty embarrasing childhood dream.
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15 August 2008: I met a Kazakh named Tanberg at a party on a catamaran. Actually he met me, by ordering drinks, apparently not an old school... We talked about a variety of things and even hold a meaningless debate about Amsterdam.
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16 August 2008: I went to the market place (I hadn't been to one for 7 years) with one of my friends's mother (whom I didn't know well before). Pretty homey :) She told me all her concerns, and there were a lot of them :)
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17 August 2008: Today I hitchhiked, first time in my life. The driver came out to be a talkative geography teacher. We talked about the city, Greek island Santorini, different power structures, Mediterranean culture, women's rights, ... etc
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18 August 2008: Today is my day off. I slept for only 10-15 hours in total in the last 4-5 days so my only goal is to sleep and not to loose the sea smell in my hair.
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19 August 2008: I talked with a university friend P.K. on msn whom I hadn't talked to in the last two months. Then I talked to M.T. and scheduled a fasil he has been asking of me for a month now.
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13 August 2008: I greeted the man on the same office floor which I always come across and never talk to. I don't know his name yet. Also, I talked with the security guards of our plaza (first time) about going on summer holidays. Well these don't belong to any of my action types but they are two types of socializing so I count them as one.
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13 August 2008: I greeted the man on the same office floor which I always come across and never talk to. I don't know his name yet. Also, I talked with the security guards of our plaza (first time) about going on summer holidays. Well these don't belong to any of my action types but they are two types of socializing so I count them as one.
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